Redemption
by Gavrilo-Princip
Summary: In his eyes, she'll be redeemed. In her gaze, he'll find light. Together, they'll exist. JackMandy, because it hasn't been done.
1. NonEntity

_Author's note: This idea just came to me. Lyrics are from Nine Inch Nails – Non-Entity. Characters from FOX's 24._

_Warnings: This is going to be a dark story, in parts. Self-mutilation and a few short descriptions of rape are contained within. This is NOT gratuitous and is integral to the plot and Mandy's back story._

_I'm going to be taking liberties later on with Mandy's past and information that runs the same gamut. Hope that's ok with you guys._

_Summary: Mandy resurfaces, but she's not the same as she once was. When Jack goes to investigate, he finds a broken, troubled woman looking for a second chance. The pairing is going to be Mandy/Jack and maybe Mandy/Jack/Chloe, although I'm not sure how I'll accomplish this. Any ideas are appreciated. And without further delay…_

CTU, Los Angeles

9:00am

Jack Bauer sat at his desk, going over the morning's intelligence reports sent over by CIA liaisons operating out of an innocuous office building in downtown Los Angeles. He sipped his coffee as his eyes pored over the pages and pages of data taken from operatives in London, Berlin, Serbia, Darpur, and many other places around the globe. He set his mug down and loosened his tie, settling back in his chair fully intending to read until lunch.

Buchanan, who had been reinstated after the President Logan situation had been resolved, stood outside his office on the ground floor, talking with Chloe, who shuffled off to her work station. Jack glanced up briefly to watch the interaction, smiling slightly in amusement at Chloe's eternal scowl and furrowed brow. Buchanan started towards the stairs leading up to his own office when an agent rushed across the floor to speak animatedly with Buchanan for several seconds before he picked up the phone. Jack watched Bill's face change from confusion to shock as the unheard conversation went on. Bill placed the phone back in its cradle and, glancing around the room briefly, moved purposefully toward Jack's office. Jack slowly set the forgotten reports down on the table and stood, waiting for Buchanan to enter.

_What's today's crisis? Nukes? Dirty bombs? Nerve gas? Maybe someone in New York decided to set loose a little sarin in the subway system… _These thoughts flew through Jack's head as the door opened quickly and then shut solidly behind Buchanan.

"Jack, Boston's FBI office was doing routine scans of local institutions, hospitals, prisons, the usual, for any 'persons of interest' that could possibly be in the area," Bill started.

"Sounds like the FBI is having a slow day. How does this pertain to us?" Jack questioned.

"Well…they found a particular 'person of interest' that you might be…well, interested in," Bill said slowly.

"Ok...," Jack said uncertainly, "Who is this person?"

"Her name is Miranda Stapleton, known by you as 'Mandy'…the mercenary…ringing a bell yet, Jack?" Bill said as he sat down in a chair across from Jack's desk. Jack stayed motionless for a few seconds as his jaw set tightly before moving behind his desk to sit down.

"Yeah, Bill, that rings some bells, to the tone of she kidnapped and beat Tony, after having part in creating a nice little shit storm for us to deal with. She also attempted to assassinate President Palmer. You know all of this. So what's the situation with her?" Jack calmly questioned, an air of detached indifference sliding over his face.

"She's in Danvers State Mental Institution, Jack, just outside of Boston. She suffered some kind of complete emotional and mental breakdown," Bill said before quickly holding up his hand to silence questions from Jack he knew would be coming, "Yes, I know Jack. _How is this our business?_ Well, she received a Presidential Pardon, so she's not actually wanted for any legal transgressions that we know of--"

"Yeah..._that we know of_," Jack interrupted, letting his detached air slip to scowl deeply.

"--_however_," Bill said, pointedly looking at Jack before continuing, "the Boston FBI Field Office cross checked all records they were sifting through with the databases of a number of other agencies. NSA and CIA were all checked, along with CTU's national records. Apparently, the alias 'Mandy' brought up a flagged report filed here right after the Marwan incident. It was filed discreetly and sent out to all the law enforcement systems in the country. The report was filed by Tony Almeida, Jack."

Jack thought for a moment as to why his now dead friend would have done something like that. He came up with one reason almost immediately.

"Mandy roughed Tony up pretty bad. He could have filed a report in order to be notified if she was picked up anywhere so he could maybe exact revenge? Tony could hold a bit of a grudge. It's hard to say without having Tony here to actually ask him," Jack said, his voice becoming softer and more uncomfortable at the mention of his friend's death. Buchanan looked at the ground for a second before moving his eyes back up to Jack's.

"That sounds like it could be possible, but we can't be one hundred percent sure. Regardless, we could just let her sit there for the rest of her life, however…the FBI made some calls to her doctor at Danvers and found out she's been repeatedly mentioning 'CTU' and 'Jack Bauer'. Furthermore, she doesn't seem to be overly violent, just completely out of it and often in a state of psychosis. They thought that CTU and you were a figment of her imagination until the FBI called. Point is, I think you should go out to Boston and handle this," Buchanan finished.

Jack thought about this. _She's capable of some really malicious shit, but she's in custody now, in a psychotic state. And surely the FBI sent someone to secure the area until CTU could decide how to act…_and it was here that Jack's thoughts trailed off.

"The FBI has her secured for the time being, but we should probably move on this. It's been quiet lately, this is an opportunity to get out into the field, no matter how mundane it would be," Bill said, simultaneously easing his concerns about safety and convincing him that a trip to Boston might do him some good. He thought for a few more seconds before looking at Buchanan and nodding.

"I thought so, Jack. The flight is booked. You leave out of LAX in," he paused to check his watch, "…40 minutes. Keep in touch with us to update on your progress. The Danvers Administration is expecting you. Is there anything else you need?"

"Yeah, if the need arises, Chloe will have to be attached to me. Other than that, I think I'll be fine," Jack said, standing and grabbing his coat. He still had to return to his utilitarian apartment to pack a bag and some other essentials before catching his flight. As he left CTU, he walked past Chloe and smiled at her, running his hand up her arm to squeeze her shoulder as he moved past her and out the doors.

Danvers State Mental Institution, outside of Boston

3:15 pm

"She's spent most of her time isolated from the general population. Because of psychotic outbursts – screaming, throwing things, the like – she has spent most of her time sedated on chlorodiazipoxide…sorry, 'Librium' in layman's terms. Sometimes she gets incredibly violent--" Dr. Swofford was saying being Jack interrupted.

"How badly did she hurt the victims?" Jack asked, his jaw setting tighter and his hands balling into fists.

"No, no, you've got it wrong, Agent Bauer. She's only destroyed her cell and self-mutilated. Last week, she used a spring from her mattress to gouge a six inch long, one inch deep gash into her underarm. We managed to stitch her up, of course, but for those particular violent episodes, we've used Thorazine. We…uh…we call it 'snowing' the patient. Thorazine basically puts them in a walking coma, able to move around relatively well without requiring assistance, but when it comes to eating or going to the bathroom, they need to be helped." Jack shuddered slightly, thinking of what it must be like to be dosed to the gills on Thorazine, walking around without being cognizant of what is going on in the world around you.

Jack followed the doctor as he led him up a flight of stairs and down a long hallway. The floors were tiled in white and the walls painted a pale green. The ceiling was a sort of night sky mosaic made of tiny ceramic tiles. The whole hallway smelled of disinfectant and Jack's nose tingled as he followed the doctor.

"We had to remove everything from her cell and put her on suicide watch after the first few incidents. Since then, we moved her to an isolation cell with just a bed roll to sleep on. She's not allowed sheets because we're afraid of her hanging herself and she's got a pillow made out of foam. I know, it seems sort of inhumane, but until we can get her suicidal ideation dealt with, we have to keep her like this," Dr. Swofford continued as they traveled swiftly down the hallway, approaching a cell at the end with two FBI agents posted outside. They got to the door and Jack dismissed them so he and the doctor could talk in private. Then he stepped up and looked through the window to see Miranda Stapleton, aka Mandy, the most unfeeling, callous, self-serving woman he'd ever come across.

She was wearing a thin, knee length, pale blue hospital gown and was curled up in a corner next to the reinforced window, her arms wrapped around pale, spindly legs. She was incredibly skinny, her raven black hair, now a tangled mess, standing out in sharp contrast to her pale skin. Her eyes were rimmed in pink presumably from crying, her lips a pale version of the same color, almost gray, and she looked deceptively frail. Both of her forearms were marked with self-inflicted wounds, nasty-looking, ragged gashes just starting to heal. Her right arm was slashed from the wrist vertically down, almost to the elbow and was expertly stitched closed. She was rocking back and forth slightly, singing a song Jack only half recognized.

"_The sky is not the same shade of blue. Everything I believe isn't true. Missing in a maze of monochrome. How did I get here? How can I go home?_" Mandy sang, her voice monotone and fragile, halting at times. The unfocused gaze of her eyes told Jack that she wasn't all there at the moment, or that she simply was deeply inside of herself. The sight of her so weak and powerless, her state so completely out of her own hands, almost elicited a strong sympathy in Jack Bauer. _Almost…_

"What's wrong with her, Doctor?" Jack questioned, his gaze never leaving the hunched up figure just behind the locked steel door.

"Well, she was admitted here just under a month ago, recommended for transfer here from Boston Medical Center by a Dr. Edward Charles. She walked into the hospital around four in the morning on a Sunday, her clothes torn, mumbling incoherently and using her nails to tear at her wrists. She was pretty badly beaten, and Dr. Charles managed to glean from her mumblings something about a rape. They tried to examine her, but she fought back pretty fiercely, screaming hysterically and so on. They managed to sedate her mildly and a gynecologist came to run a rape kit on her. They found massive tearing of the vaginal walls and deep-tissue damage around her cervix, with metal shavings found up in the vaginal cavity. It…appears that she was gang-raped and they used a metal pipe or something on her. Really fucking awful, if you can excuse my language. When she wasn't any more coherent after the sedatives wore off, she was transferred here and admitted. We managed to get a name out of her and through therapy sessions, which seem to help her, she provided us with more moments of lucidity. When she's had these lucid moments, she told us about her family and where she grew up. Going on that, we found out that her mother died when she was six and her father sexually abused her from age 8 until age 13, the age she was when he committed suicide. She lived with her…." Dr. Swoffword trailed off, handing Jack the file, "Well, I won't bore you with this now. Here's all the information we have on her. You're welcome to it and if you have any questions or need anything, the nurse's station is right down the hall by the stairwell we came up. She shouldn't be any trouble, she's coming down off of a pretty decent dose of Librium, but she's been lucid recently. She'll basically be calm and able to answer any questions you have for her. If she gives you any problems, the FBI agents will be right outside."

Jack nodded his head numbly. Sadistic bitch that she was, the trauma Mandy went through in the streets of Boston a month prior shocked him. _Ok, so she deserves a little suffering, but…Jesus Christ_, Jack thought to himself as Dr. Swofford unlocked the cell door, the loud turning of the lock snapping Mandy's gaze to the small glass window, and behind it the stoic face of Jack Bauer.

Wordlessly, Jack stepped into the cell and the door was shut behind him. She shrank into her corner as he moved into the cell, crouching against the wall across from her. He stared at her for a few seconds, her face shielded by her hands, avoiding looking at him. He reached up and firmly grabbed both of her hands, slowly pulling them down.

"What angle are you playing here, you _fucking bitch!"_ Jack yelled in her face, tightening his grip on her hands, anger seething through him. He thought of Tony, beaten and bruised. Michelle's relief when it turned out he was alive. Jack thought of his two dead friends…

Mandy stared into his eyes, her own wide and clear, a window to her emotions. She sniffled and bit her lip before her face crumpled and tears began to flow down her cheeks as she sobbed uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm sorry….._Jack_, help me….I'm sorry….."

_Read and review! If this is received well, it'll certainly bolster my resolve to complete this story. This is my first, actually, and I really want to write it because there are very few stories about Mandy and Jack interacting in any way. I know its unconventional, but I think this pairing could have many different angles and dynamics._


	2. Maybe Just Once

_Note: The song is "Something in the way" by Nirvana._

_

* * *

_

Danvers State Mental Institution, outside of Boston

3:45 pm

Jack looked at the frail woman sobbing on the floor in front of him as he stood up slowly and walked the length of the cell back to the door. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the door, looking out the window into the bright sun outside, waiting for Mandy to calm down. His face remained blank, but inside he wondered what exactly was going on in front of him. While she was certainly capable of extreme displays of deception, she also had a very, very strong sense of self preservation. _True_, he thought_, some minor wounds could mean she's probably just trying to convincingly cover her ass, but that stitched wound looks pretty deep. The doctor **did** mention suicidal ideation_…Jack's thoughts trailed off. He knew enough psychology to know that suicidal thoughts and actions indicated a real problem.

The tiny, white cell was uncomfortably warm and Jack went over to the window as Mandy's sobs began to subside. He undid the lock through the bars and opened the window, a cool breeze gently blowing through the cell. Mandy wiped her face with both hands and then sniffled as she ran a hand under her nose before turning her eyes to Jack. Jack looked back at her impassively as he dug through his pockets for a pack of cigarettes.

"I'm sorry…about the…the crying. I feel pretty stupid," Mandy began, laughing self-deprecatingly at the end before trailing off. Jack put a cigarette between his lips and lit it with a beat-up silver Zippo and glanced at Mandy before turning to blow smoke out the window. He looked back and caught her gaze flitting up from the cigarette to his face. Sighing, he withdrew the pack from his pocket and held it out for her to take a cigarette before sliding it back into his breast pocket. He lit her cigarette for her and she drew in a long, shaking drag.

"Thanks…" she managed before exploding into a coughing fit, her slender fingers managing to hold the cigarette steady while she was wracked with coughs.

"Been a while?" Jack asked, an amused smirk spreading across his face. She answered after the coughs subsided.

"Yeah, you could say that," she replied, silence falling heavy between them as they smoked. Mandy stood up shakily and padded barefoot over to stand by Jack, both of them looking out of the window at the grounds below, their smoke wafting out of the window and mingling with the cool, crisp breeze. The wind groaned around the edges of the window and the sound mixed with the rustling of the leaves of the ash trees outside and created something oddly beautiful and calming. They finished their cigarettes and pitched them out the window, sparks flying off as the wind took them. Jack went and sat down on the floor, hands propped up on his knees, his back against one wall of the cell.

Mandy hesitated at the window, looking out at the azure sky. She watched the wind pick up slightly and take hold of the leaves, the blades of grass, and dance with them a quiet, rustling waltz. She wanted her mind to be as clear as the sky and as unburdened as the breeze blowing outside of her window. _I want to be out of this fucking hospital. I want to put my life back together, maybe finally be who I'm supposed to. Oh, fuck it, I just want to go outside, _she thought to herself.

"I just want to go outside," she said softly, before she could stop herself from vocalizing her thoughts. She had hoped the dangerous, unforgiving man that she knew was in her cell with her didn't hear her. For a moment, she thought that she was in the clear, until he cleared his throat and his voice sounded in her ears.

"I'd like to talk to you first, then afterwards I'm sure I could convince the doctor to let you out on the grounds for a while," he said, his voice tingling the back of her neck. He didn't see, but her eyes brightened considerably at the mention of going outside. She lingered at the window a moment longer before moving until her back was against the wall across from where Jack was sitting. She slid down the wall and crossed her legs as best she could so nothing could be seen up the hospital gown.

Jack watched her slide down the wall. There was something different about her demeanor. He could sense a change from the confident, calculating woman he met years ago to the one who stood before him awkwardly graceful, yet unsure and confused and lost. In all his years as a CTU agent, he did a damn fine job judging people's character based on little information. What Mandy was giving him now was a flood of insight into who she was now. She was not the same person who kidnapped his friend and attempted to assassinate President Palmer. Strictly speaking, yes it was the same person, with the same skills and memories. But it was like a switch had been flipped. All of that, however, didn't mean that he trusted her. He vowed to remain distant and vigilant until he knew more.

"I…don't even really know where to begin. Why were you in Boston? What have you been doing? Who are you now and how is this possible?" Jack forced out, exasperated that the scope of the situation he was in was preventing him from getting concisely to the issue at hand. Mandy's eyes slid down from his to her hands resting in her lap. She began to play with a loose thread at the bottom hem of the gown as she talked.

"When the FBI showed up, I figured it was a matter of time before you guys came. I had a while to decide what I wanted to say, when I was clear enough to think properly. I got it all pretty straight, so I may as well go from that," she said, prefacing any further remarks she was going to make.

"I don't know what's going on with me. Ever since the…since those guys in Boston a month ago, I feel like I just woke up from a coma, except the entire time I was in the coma, I knew what I was doing and feeling and all that. I have all the memories-- Palmer, Tony, Marwan-- but I don't feel the same way I did then. Like I said…I just feel like I've been woken up from a deep sleep, and it's been scaring me. I've been confused, battling who I was and who I feel I am now, trying to reconcile the two. It got to be a little much, as you can see…" and here she gestured at the stitches in her right arm, looking down in mild shame and embarrassment before continuing, "…but I've reached the conclusion that I was that person, that awful, manipulative _cunt_…but…I'm not her anymore. I don't understand why or how it happened. Like I said, it's…confusing," she trailed off, wishing she could control her mouth a little bit better. Jack seemed to mull over her words for a bit, eyes slowly looking from her, around the room, to the window, and back to her while he processed what she had said.

"I've been witness to the truly heinous shit you're capable of, Mandy, so you'll have to forgive me if I'm at least a little hesitant because of that. But I like to think I'm a decent judge of character, and I'm inclined, for now, to believe you. I'm going to stay up here for a while and run some background checks on you through CTU, which I'm sure you can understand, and I'm also going to ask the doctor to check you out, make sure you're ok to be released," Jack said, maintaining eye contact with the woman sitting across from him. Buchanan was going to kick his ass when Jack told him what sort of thoughts he was formulating, but he was a man who trusted his instincts. Currently, they were telling him to help her. At the very least, get her cleared and released.

"So I get released, and then what? Do I wait tables?" Mandy said sarcastically, after a long pause. Jack's face remained neutral.

"There will be time for that afterwards. And this all banks on me feeling that you're not lying, examining your past, and the doctor signing off, ok?" Jack clarified, hoping she'd understand his reasons for having to take such a careful approach to this. She chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully while looking at the floor before turning back to him.

"Ok," she said simply.

_Just like that? _Jack thought as he stood up and stretched. He glanced at his watch and noticed that it was now 5:15. They'd been talking for almost two hours. He looked around the cell briefly to make sure he didn't drop anything while sitting down and moved over to where Mandy sat, extending his hand to help her up.

"Come on, let's go see the doctor about going outside for a bit," Jack said, smiling slightly as she full on grinned brightly back at him.

* * *

10:00 pm

Jack Bauer lay beneath the sheets of his bed, hands behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling of his small bedroom in the only hotel he managed to find out in the rural area. It was one of the hotels with little one-storey houses, rather than a block of rooms, surrounding the office. The thin curtains covering the window were pulled open just enough to allow light to get in from outside.

The streetlight shone through the curtains, casting lines on the floor and lines on his face as he reflected on the day.

After 20 minutes of negotiation with Dr. Swofford and his solemn promise to keep an eye on her the entire time, Mandy was allowed outside of the building after a month of total confinement indoors. She went back to her old cell, to which she would now be allowed to return, and slipped on a dark blue bathrobe over her hospital gown to better cover herself before heading outside with Jack. As they made their way out of the lobby, he noticed that she was still barefoot.

"Do you need shoes or something?" Jack asked uncertainly.

"Nope," she replied quietly, smiling again, "I want to feel the grass." And he nodded once to show he understood, and they continued outside, walking down the front steps and stepping out into the grass in the shade just below one of the many ash trees on the grounds. Mandy stopped for a moment, settling her feet in the grass and closing her eyes. Jack chuckled at her obvious enjoyment of something seemingly so trivial.

"How's it feel?" he questioned with a half smirk.

"Amazing," she said, eyes still closed, her body still, "it's soft and cool. Seems silly, yeah, but you live inside for a month and you grow to crave what you can't get to." Jack grunted something that could have been an agreement or simply an acknowledgement of her statement. He watched as the breeze picked up and Mandy started to sway with the wind, her blank face finally giving way to a tiny smile. Tendrils of her black hair moved in the breeze and Jack felt a small, genuine smile spread across his own face. It wasn't unwelcome or insincere, but it was unexplainable and when she opened her eyes, he hid it the best he could, hoping she didn't notice him enjoying her enjoying her new freedom. She looked at him in such a way, such a secret, amused way, that told him that he hadn't been fast enough.

"Come on, Agent Bauer. Walk with me," and she set off across the grounds slowly, him walking alongside her, loosening his tie. They wound their way through the soft, green grass, their path taking them around and beneath the trees. The grounds were very large and they had plenty of ground to cover. For a while, they were silent before Mandy, looking at her right arm and it's stitching, decided to talk.

"This is probably, definitely going to leave a scar," she said, frowning disapprovingly. Jack looked at her and took in her expression. And maybe it was the events of the day, or maybe it was just the calm and serenity of the grounds around them and the vast, indifferent, beautiful expanse of sky over his head, but he felt like opening up. He rarely felt that way, and for some reason, with this former (hopefully) assassin, he now felt the need to. Jack did something he usually almost never did; he pushed a sleeve on his suit jacket up. Mandy heard the movement and looked over at him, instantly spotting the scarring and track marks just inside of his elbow. He looked straight ahead, stoically, as he felt her gaze move over the damage he did to himself and then looked over at her, directly into her eyes.

"A lot of things do," he said simply. The simplicity of the statement notwithstanding, he was confused as to why he was opening up to her here, now, when he never opened up, always kept an air of professionalism and a separation of himself and his career. He saw no condemnation in her eyes, she simply raised her dark eyebrows and darted her tongue out to wet her lips before speaking.

"Seems that way, doesn't it?" she asked rhetorically, before adding softly, "And not all of it's visible." He heard every word she said, but said nothing in return. He let his sleeve slide back down and they kept walking. They walked across the grass towards the edge of the woods that surrounded the hospital. Walking along the edge of the trees, they came upon a small, nearly overgrown trail and Mandy looked at Jack questioningly. When Jack said nothing, but gave a slight nod of approval, they stepped into the shadow of the trees and walked down the trail, feet whispering through the weeds. Eventually they came upon a cemetery that climbed gently up a slight hill, the stone graves leaning every which way. Jack hesitated at the edge of the trail.

"Let's go back to the main grounds," he suggested, feeling awkward in a place with headstones bearing only numbers. She was already among the headstones, kneeling down to peer at them intently. Jack sighed and walked over to follow her. She was tracing her fingers over a patient's number, the expression on her face slightly sad.

"I don't get the numbers," Jack said softly. Mandy was brought out of her thoughts and looked up at him as she stood.

"The people who had no family to claim the body were buried here and given only numbers. I guess for confidentiality, maybe? I don't know why, exactly, but that's what's up with the numbers," she said softly, hugging herself tightly to ward off the chill the now setting sun was bringing. Jack stared at the grave, thinking about his faked death and how it had broken his relationship with his daughter. _Will she claim my body when I die or will one of my coworkers do it for her?_ Jack wondered morosely. He closed his eyes.

"Bring out your dead," he said quietly. Mandy looked over at him and saw him, eyes closed and hands clenched. She looked at him curiously. _What is he thinking about?_ She shook her head slightly, unable to figure it out and slowly, she reached slender fingers towards his clenched hands.

Jack, still standing with his eyes closed, felt cool fingers prying between his clenched ones, loosening them, coaxing them open, before finally threading through them and giving them a gentle, reassuring squeeze. He opened his eyes and turned towards Mandy.

"Let's go back now," she said and began pulling him back towards the trail. He didn't resist. By the time they got back to Dr. Swofford, it was close to 7 in the evening. Jack walked her back to her cell, told her he'd be back tomorrow, and then left Danvers.

After calling Buchanan and updating him on the situation and his findings, of which Bill was incredibly skeptical of, he talked to Chloe and asked her to sift through every single available database, legally accessible or otherwise, for records pertaining to "Miranda Stapleton" or just simply "Mandy". Chloe said it would take a while to get _literally everything _on her that Jack wanted, but promised she would get it done as fast as possible. Jack had hung up the phone just as he entered the parking lot of his hotel. After entering and changing, he went out to find something to eat and pick up some beer. He felt that he deserved a drink before dealing with the complications that the situation with Mandy had kicked up.

And here he was now: lying in bed, not sleeping, thinking about what had happened at the hospital. Thinking of what she said, almost able to remember it verbatim. He thought of the way she looked when she was outside, at peace with herself and the world around her, and he was jealous of her ability to be so serene when her life wasn't even nearly as ordered as his was supposed to be. He had a steady job, a house, a car, an estranged daughter. With the exception of the last, he should be able to feel serene, but inside…inside he felt nothing except emptiness and regret. He cursed her ability to find serenity after what had happened to her. Pissed off, Jack through the sheets off of him and got out of bed. The clock glowed "11:15" in the darkness and he stalked passed it. He stopped and on a whim decided to turn on the radio that was sitting in the living room, sound softly filling the tiny house. _There's still a beer in the refrigerator, _he thought, moving towards it as he recognized the song.

_Underneath the bridge  
The tarp has sprung a leak  
And the animals I've trapped  
Have all become my pets  
And I'm living off of grass  
And the drippings from the ceiling  
It's okay to eat fish  
'cause they don't have any feelings_

He pulled the bottle out and opened it. Immediately, it started to foam and drip onto the floor. He quickly moved over to the sink to let it drip into there. When it was done, he raised the bottle to his lips and looked out the window right above the sink. He looked out into the dark of night and froze, the bottle only halfway to his lips.

_Something in the way, mmm  
Something in the way, yeah, mmm_

In the window, where he should have seen his reflection, for a split second, he saw _her _reflection. Her pale skin and pink lips, her black hair, her big blue eyes. She was in the window, wearing the exact expression she had when she suggested they leave the cemetery. And just like that, one blink, she was gone, his own reflection replacing hers.

He quickly drained the contents of the bottle and walked back into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

_Note: The line about the street light shining through the shades is inspired and taken from the lyrics of Ben Folds, for the song "Fred Jones Part 2". The scene with Jack and the mirror, and the Nirvana song was inspired by the dream sequence in the movie Jarhead. It's better if you listen to the song while reading that part. Review, please! _


	3. Sin

_Author's Note: All characters from Fox's 24. Except for Dr. Swofford, I made him up. The song is "Til Kingdom Comes" by Coldplay and I believe it really fits the overall situation between Jack and Mandy._

_Also, there's alot in this story that is symbolic. Everything is carefully chosen for a reason (such as ash trees being outside of Danvers) and the chapter titles are no different. They're all linked. Can you tell me how? Reviews are most welcome. _

* * *

Outside of Boston

10:00 am

Although he slept fitfully, tossing and turning and never quite deeply asleep, Jack Bauer woke up in his hotel bedroom feeling slightly better than he did when he stormed back to his bedroom last night. He stumbled to the bathroom to brush his teeth and take a quick shower before heading back to the hospital to discuss Mandy with Dr. Swofford. After he had gotten out of the shower and was getting dressed in front of the mirror, his cell phone rang. He stopped tying his tie and looked at the caller I.D and saw that it was Chloe.

"Hey, Chloe," he said after answering the phone.

"Hi Jack. I managed to get some files on Miranda Stapleton: police reports, school records, and military records for starters. The information is actually turning up pretty fast and I should have the rest of what you need in an hour or so," Chloe said, obviously pleased with herself.

"Good work, can you upload the information to my PDA?" Jack said, putting her on speaker so he could resume getting dressed.

"No, there's too much and it'd take too long to code down the data. Is there a number I can fax the information to?" she asked.

"Chloe, are you positive that's the only way?" he questioned.

"_Jack_…I wouldn't say it if I wasn't," she said, irritated.

"Ok, ok, I'll call you right back," he said, and then dialed Dr. Swofford's number. Swofford gave him the fax number to his office and Jack called back Chloe with the number. She promised the information would be sitting there by the time he arrived. He thanked her for her work and encouraged her to call him as soon as the rest of the information was ready. He hung up, grabbed his keys to his rental car and left for Danvers.

* * *

Danvers State Mental Institution

10:17 am

Jack wasn't headed to Dr. Swofford's office right away. He found himself climbing the stairs to the fourth floor of the east wing of the hospital. He strode down the hall, footsteps echoing off the walls in the quiet air, towards two FBI agents standing outside of a cell. He approached the two agents.

"Thank you, gentlemen, for your work securing Miss Stapleton, but I don't believe your services are needed any longer. CTU will be taking over from here. If your regional director has any questions, here's my card. Thank you again for your work," he said, shaking the hands of the two young men and watching them move down the hallway and eventually out of sight. He flagged down a passing orderly and, after flashing his identification, had him open up Mandy's cell. She was laying on her bed, hair spread around her like a halo, left forearm tossed carelessly over her eyes as she hummed softly to herself. Jack thanked the orderly and walked into her cell.

"So you really meant that you were coming back." It was more of a statement rather than a question.

"Yeah, I said I would. I've gotta go talk to Swofford, but I just wanted to stop by beforehand," he said.

"What for?" she asked, finally moving her forearm from her eyes and resting it alongside her head on the pillow. She looked at him curiously, waiting for his answer. Ultimately, it was an answer he didn't have.

"I'll be back after the meeting," Jack said, avoiding her eyes by looking out the window. When she didn't reply, he turned back to face her and saw her looking up at him, eyes slightly shining with amusement and a small, restrained smile gracing her lips. He kept looking at her, waiting for her to say something.

"Ok," she said simply, finally. Her eyes followed him through the door and stayed in that direction long after he left. _What are you doing? _she thought to herself, sighing, before shielding her eyes again and trying to take a nap.

* * *

Danvers State Mental Institution

12:00pm

Jack was on his sixth cup of coffee as he processed all of the information he had received from Chloe's diligent search pertaining to Mandy's past. He and Swofford went through it together, with the doctor pausing occasionally to jot down notes as they read and reread the many papers scattered across the cramped, uncomfortably warm office. Jack had long since rolled up his sleeves and loosened his tie and he sat hunched over his desk, face darkening as he continuously pored over new information about Mandy. When they were finally finished going through the information and organizing it, he blew out a deep breath and pushed away from the desk, leaning back in his chair and stretching his arms behind his head. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and grimaced slightly, collecting his thoughts before looking at Swofford.

"Ok, let's go over this one more time, alright?" He asked.

"Alright, you go over the information chronologically and I'll probably stop you to add my two cents into the discussion," Swofford said. Jack nodded his approval before taking a deep breath and continuing.

"Ok, she's born in a small town in Iowa. Her mother died when she was six and we've taken from police reports at the time that neighbors suspected sexual abuse occurred after that. Mandy later confirmed in a meeting with a guidance counselor in high school that her father did in fact sexually assault her from age 8 to age 13. When she was 13, she came home from school and found him in the basement, his head blown apart by…" here Jacked flipped through pages, finding a police report over a decade old, "a 12 gauge shotgun. This was an obvious suicide. On the same page so far, doctor?"

"Yes, Jack. The issue with her mother dying at such a young age is traumatic enough, but just two years afterwards, the sexual abuse began and lasted through puberty. This is most definitely the trigger for her isolation during high school," Swofford said, prefacing the next area of discussion.

"Right. So she lives with her grandparents and goes through middle school. Discipline reports show that she alternately acted aggressively with her peers and, as guidance counselor records show, acted passively, anti-socially, sullen, and withdrawn. Once she hit high school, her isolation increased with teasing and further alienation from her peers, specifically females, if the school records are to be trusted. Her grades from high school show she was exceptionally bright, she was actually involved in the gifted program at the school, and her IQ was tested and found to be above average by a pretty decent margin. Ok, if we look at local police reports from this same time period, her grandparents called the police, several times during the course of her high school career, to report her missing. She was always found in the woods near her house. She told the cops she went there often to think and calm herself down. Yeah, ok, this happened several times….Alright, so next she graduates from high school, no surprise she's valedictorian. She is accepted to Boston University on a full scholarship, she wants to major in psychology an-" Jack was cut off by Doctor Swofford.

"It's my opinion that her father's suicide and what she went through in high school influenced this choice of major. I mean, in my own interactions with her before you got here, when she was coherent, she was obviously trying to understand the people around her. I got the impression she was studying me," Swofford said, made slightly uncomfortable by the memory of Mandy's huge blue eyes focused intently and unwaveringly on him.

"Ok, hang on…" Jack said, making a note of that for his own benefit before continuing, "Alright, so she goes off to Boston University. Lives in one of the dorms…and the subsequent police investigation interviews her friends, who say that she started opening up to them, talking more, laughing, joking, becoming more relaxed. Then there's the reason for the police investigation: she's raped walking home from a party one night. She called the cops, no arrests were ever made and she just closed herself off and stayed for a period of time before forfeiting her scholarship and dropping out midway through her second semester. After that, she returned home to Iowa. We've got withdrawal papers from the University that prove that true. We also know that she enlisted in the Army shortly thereafter…ok, the enlistment papers show that it was five months after she withdrew from college. From there, we have her military records: performed well in Basic, trained as a sniper, and completed her training just in time to be absorbed by Army intelligence and sent over to Kosovo. She saw combat there and participated in several target acquisition and elimination missions. Three months into her deployment, she was absorbed by the CIA and worked as a field operative. Then she just disappeared. Reports indicate she went AWOL just under a month after becoming a CIA field op. That's it; that's where all formal records stop." Jack leaned back and sighed heavily. It was a lot to take in. He looked up expectantly at Swofford, waiting for his thoughts.

"Well…here's the obvious: the repeated incidents of sexual abuse took a large toll on her. I think that after the rape in college, right when she was 'learning to live with herself', so to speak, and opening up, she shut herself down completely and withdrew inside of herself. Sort of like a last straw, like flipping a switch and turning herself off. It wouldn't be a big leap to say she had some massive anger building inside of her, which could be why she joined the Army: as sort of an outlet for her rage. At any rate, combat probably only served to harden her and further mold her into the woman that you've experienced prior to the past few days. And whatever else she's been doing since going AWOL probably reinforced her conviction to her own emotionless, self-serving state. And then the gang rape about a month ago occurred. Given it took place in Boston, and went against her feelings of self-sufficiency and control, I think that flipped the switch _back_ to where it was after entering college, emotionally of course. She wasn't used to having control taken away from her on that large of a scale and it really did a number on her, sadly," the doctor finished, removing his glasses to rub at his tired, over-used eyes. Jack bit his thumbnail as he thought about what the doctor was saying.

"Is the change permanent? Can the switch be flipped back without warning?" Jack quietly asked, hoping the answer would be favorable. _After the shit she's been through, she deserves a normal life._

"I'd say that…you know, barring any severely traumatic event on the same level as her previously experienced sexual abuse, then...yes, I'd say that it's a pretty solid switch. I mean, look at her track record: the catalysts of her personality changes throughout adolescence and early adulthood were extremely traumatic events immediately preceding her emotional and mental changes. So no, the switch can't be flipped without warning, but it's not incorrect to say that it could be flipped back with another traumatic event," Swofford said. Jack nodded in agreement, thinking the same thing as the doctor, but feeling more comfortable hearing it from his mouth.

"Can she be released?" Jack held his breath waiting for the answer. Dr. Swofford drummed his fingers against his desk, eyes out of focus as he thought. After several minutes, his fingers ceased their movement and his gaze focused on Jack.

"Yes, she can be released as soon as you're willing to co-sign the release papers, which I imagine is as soon as possible. So why don't you go tell her that she's going to be released and then we'll cut her loose tomorrow?" Swofford suggested brightly, pleased on the young woman's behalf that she could start to build some semblance of a normal life.

"That sounds perfect, doctor," Jack said with a slight grin. The doctor excused himself to go check on "institutional operations" and Jack slowly gathered up all of the papers strewn across the office, letting his mind wander as he did so. _She can finally get out of this place. She can understand what's happened to her and hopefully learn from it and move on. She can put herself to **good**_ _use instead of being some hired gun for morally lacking people. _Jack smiled involuntarily at the thought of her freedom, on its way in less than 24 hours. He thought about how, in a few short minutes, he would leave the office and go up to her cell and tell her that she's going to be released. He thought about her reaction to the news and figured she'd get a bit excited at the prospect of being able to pick up the pieces of her shattered, scattered life. He finished gathering up the papers and tucked the sizeable stack underneath his arm and left the office, heading for her cell.

He walked in after the orderly unlocked the cell to find her gazing at the door with a quiet expectation. He pulled the door shut and removed his suit jacket, tossing it next to her on the bed. He walked over to the window and pushed it open through the bars, lighting a cigarette and inhaling deeply off of it, the rush of nicotine soothing rattled nerves as he set down the thick stack of papers on the window sill. As he moved about the room, her eyes followed him patiently and after he lit his cigarette, she decided to break the silence.

"You didn't say the meeting would take so long…"she said, her face an almost undetectable mixture of dejection and confusion. She stood up and met his eyes with hers and reached into his shirt pocket for his cigarettes, lighting herself one. She blew smoke out the window and her eyes traveled to the stack of papers rustling slightly in the breeze from the open window. She tucked the cigarette between her lips and, with great curiosity, began to flip through the pages. Jack watched her with a guarded expression.

"That's you. Everything we were able to find on you, your past, et cetera. Elementary school, high school, grade reports, police reports, college transcripts," Jack said, ticking off each item on his fingers.

"I wasn't in college for long," Mandy said, frowning slightly.

"I know. We've also got…_military records_," Jack said pointedly. Mandy looked up at him and half-grinned sheepishly, retrieving her cigarette from her lips and flicking ashes out of the window.

"Yeah…that's how I lost myself. And that's pretty much the source of the training that's allowed me to…do what you've seen me do," she said, avoiding Jack's eyes. Jack watched her intently, seeing her face fall at the mention of what she did. He saw the wounded look in her eyes and could see real, genuine remorse; something he never saw from the old Mandy before the past two days. He hesitantly moved his head so he was down at eye level with her and looking directly into her eyes.

"You're going to be released. Tomorrow," Jack said and watched her reaction. She closed her eyes slowly as her eyebrows drew together in concentration, then a smile started to form on her lips, growing larger and larger, just about to break into a grin when it stopped and her face fell. She opened her eyes and tears leaked out of the corners, running silently down her face.

"What am I going to do? I can't stay in Boston, Jack…not…not after…all that's happened. And a job! I don't have a job, for fuck's sake! I don't have any clothes or possessions, because I am _not_ going back to that apartment where….that _bitch_ I was lived. No college degree, no possessions, and skills that could only be used in a finite number of situations! What am I going to do? What exactly am I going to go?" she questioned, her voice rising and getting faster and more panicked as she went on, eyes and head moving and turning frantically around the room in exasperation as her hand shook. Her breathing had increased and he could tell she was on the verge of a panic attack. He hesitated only a second before awkwardly placing a hand on her shoulders, first the right and then the left, steadying her and getting her to stop for a minute. He looked down into her eyes and she stilled almost instantly.

"You're coming back to Los Angeles with me. I can find you a place to live there. We'll work out your living arrangements and get you some new stuff, whatever you need, and then," Jack paused, taking a breath, "…then we're going to try to get you a job at CTU. It might be difficult, and some people are definitely going to fight me on this, but I'm confident that with your skills, experience, and contacts that you'll be a viable team member." Jack finished saying what he had to say and waited, watching her reaction. She kept her eyes glued to him. _They're so beautiful,_ he thought and the suddenness of that thought caused him to take his arms off her shoulders, stand up straight and let them fall to his sides. But he didn't look away as she studied him, eyes rimmed in red and tears drying on her face. Then her smile came back. And it grew, until it was a grin that immediately convinced him to respond with one of his own.

"I don't know what to say, _Agent Bauer_. After everything I've done, you're still willing to…. I'm very grateful. Thank you so much," she finished, slowly moving forward to slide her arms around his neck and bring him into a hug. He was startled and didn't know how to react. He patted the small of her back awkwardly and then pulled away.

"Yeah, well…I'll be watching you, _Miranda_," he said gruffly, not enjoying being viewed as a savior or saint or however she was thinking of him now. He grabbed the stack of papers off of the window sill, all of Mandy's past, and gestured with them, posing an unspoken question. She shook her head, smilingly shyly and he dropped them onto the floor. On his way out after they were done, he'd throw the papers in the trash.

He leaned against the window sill, propping himself up with his elbows and Mandy walked over to do the same next to him. The two stayed like that in relative silence, smoking, until someone in the hall turned on a radio and the sound came softly into the small room.

_And the wheels just keep on turning  
And the drummer begins to drum  
I don't know which way I'm going  
I don't know which way I've come_

_Hold my head inside your hands  
I need someone who understands  
I need someone, someone who hears  
For you I've waited all these years  
For you I'd wait til Kingdom Come  
Until my day, my day is done  
And say you'll come and set me free  
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me_

The meaning wasn't lost on Mandy. _Need? Now there's something I know_, she thought. She snuck a quick look over at Jack, who looked at her out of the corner of his eye, and then faced back forward. She sighed, yet another tiny smile on her lips as she moved closer to Jack and laid her head on his shoulder in one fluid, quick motion. Jack was surprised by her friendliness, but he didn't pull away. _Nothing wrong with her showing gratitude, _Jack thought to himself. The two stayed like that for long after the song finished, her enjoying the solid feel of his support under her head and him trying to suppress his half-smile at the feeling of warmth coming from the small frame beside him.

* * *

_Special thanks to Cora, my only reader (as far as I know) as well as my only reviewer (which I do know). Thanks for your support in this story and thanks for sticking with it. Hopefully others will join you!_


	4. Home

_Author's note: Because the first two days were important, I kept the clock. Now the situation is somewhat more manageable for those involved, so the clock is gone. Song is "California Bound" by Frank Black and the Catholics (**I highly recommend anything by Frank Black). **Also, in hopes of attracting more attention, the rating has been changed to T. Nothing teens can't handle and certainly nothing graphic! Just cursing. Actually, a lot of it. Sorry._

_

* * *

_

Jack walked purposefully from Dr. Swofford's office at around eight in the morning. He had just completed the process of signing release and liability forms for Mandy. Because of her situation, she had to be remanded to Jack's personal custody, making him legally responsible for her. It was temporary, of course, until they could be accommodated by the California judicial system to sort all of this out and get her life back together again, at least from a legal perspective. The more Jack thought about it, the more he decided it was best to make up some story about Mandy's whereabouts. He had powerful friends in California and they'd be willing to help the ruse go off without a hitch. But that was something he'd force himself to think about later. For right now, he and Mandy had a ten o'clock flight out to LA to catch in just under two hours. His right hand tightened its grip on the plain black leather bag in his hand. His arm was starting to ache a little, since he'd been carrying it off and on since six in the morning. Luckily, he only had a few more feet. He turned down Mandy's hallway and was notified by the orderly that she was still asleep. Jack felt the mild twinge of annoyance that people who wake up early and then have to wait on others feel, but pushed it aside. Annoyance wasn't appropriate for her reintroduction into the world. He had the orderly unlock her door as quietly as possible as he set the heavy bag down on the hallway floor. After the orderly left, Jack crept quietly into the cell.

She was curled up in a fetal position on her left side, her head facing the door, legs pulled up and her left hand beneath her pillow. A thin sheet covered her legs and rustled with the breeze that was blowing from the open window. The morning sunlight was cascading through the panes of glass and her black hair, spread out around her and standing out against the cream-white of the pillow, caught the rays of light and shimmered in the still air of early morning.

Jack didn't wake her up immediately. He let his gaze wander over the outline of her legs beneath the sheets, the flat plane of her stomach where the hospital gown clung to her, the milky white skin of her slender wrists, her thin, elegant fingers curled in sleep, and her lips, parted slightly as her breath softly came and went. Something in him enjoyed seeing her like this, completely off guard and vulnerable and simple. Her face was smooth and unlined, not grooved with the lines of concentration or worry or doubt. _Jesus, her hair is black_, he thought as his eyes studied her. He wondered if she dyed it and before he could stop himself, he was slowly moving one hand forward to run a finger through the silky, cool length of it. He felt a tingle as the base of his spine as her hair slipped over his finger and he used his hand to brush a stray strand out of her eyes. He watched as her eyes fluttered open under dark lashes and focused on him. Not knowing what to do, he froze. He figured she would be surprised as to why his hand was intimately brushing hair out of her eyes as she slept, maybe a little angry or put off. But to his surprise, she smiled sleepily and reached up to wrap warm fingers around his hand, her thumb stroking his palm gently.

"Mmm…how long have you been here?" she said, stretching in bed, legs writhing slowly beneath the sheets as she tried to wake them up.

"It's time to wake up. You're released, and we've got a flight to catch at 10," Jack rediscovered his voice while trying to ignore the feeling of her thumb sliding against his palm.

"What time is it now?" Mandy asked, voice rasping slightly and eyes still heavy with sleep.

"It's...uh…about eight thirty," Jack watched as her eyes grew wide and awake.

"So you woke me up two hours before our flight? Christ, you owe me coffee," Mandy let go of his hand and tossed the sheets aside, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and rubbing at her eyes. Jack watched her get up and go into the hallway and down the hall, presumably to the bathroom. While she was gone, Jack stared without focus out of the window, trying to forget her touch and the feeling that its absence created within him. Subconsciously, his mouth turned into a deep frown and he dug around in his pockets for his cigarettes. He knew they were bad for him, as did anyone with half of a functional brain, but he had needed something to replace his dependence on heroin and nicotine was the lesser of two evils in that sense, so his smoking went from occasional to regular. He didn't find any cigarettes in his pockets so he had to settle for chewing on the cuticle of his right thumb. He wasn't sure how long he waited before she came back in, hair damp and clinging to her head, pushed hurriedly back away from her face.

"You shouldn't chew like that. It's a bad habit," she scolded, looking around for clothes and remembering that she only had the pair she had worn the night of her attack, and those had been destroyed in the hospital emergency room. Not knowing what to do, she looked over to Jack, about to ask just what the hell she was supposed to wear, when he crossed the room and reached outside the door, bringing in the heavy bag and setting it down on her bed. She looked at it, a question apparent in her eyes.

"Clothes. I figured you'd need some. And before you ask, no I didn't get your sizes or whatever from your files: I had a wife and a daughter, once and I learned from them how to size strangers just by looking. It was a game they used to play when we went out or on long car trips or whatever," he rambled a bit at the end, gesturing emptily around the room with his hand before letting it fall to his side. Mandy smiled at him warmly and he rolled his eyes and left the room to let her change. He leaned against the wall stiffly, drumming his fingers impatiently against the wall. _Just five feet away, beyond a door…_Jack's mind traveled to places it shouldn't have and it made him all the more unsettled and he hoped she would hurry up. After a few moments, Mandy stuck her head out from the cell. He made a move to go in, figuring she was done, but she hastily pressed a hand against his chest, holding him back as tiny points of her warmth leeched through his shirt. The temperature in the hallway seemed to increase a bit.

"Not yet, only the top half of me is ready. Anyway, there's no panties…," Mandy let her hand linger on his chest longer than she needed to, fingertips pressing lightly into the muscle beneath his shirt. _This is a bit compromising, _she though, distracted for a second by her state of half-dress and the fluttering reaction in her stomach just at touching him.

"Yeah…I don't do that. I mean, I could have, but the…salesperson would have…you know what? It's easier to lie and say it slipped my mind," he smiled shyly, a bit embarrassed. She looked at him with amusement obvious in her expression.

"You said you had a wife and a daughter," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'd go into a store alone and buy them shit I'd feel like a jackass paying for _by myself…with no female present_. You know exactly what the sale's person would think," he said defensively.

"Alright, you might have a point," she said, retreating back into her cell to finish changing. Jack blew out his breath heavily and drummed his fingers a little harder. When she was finally dressed, it was close to nine o'clock and Dr. Swofford saw them out the door with a smile and a wave after Jack had shaken his hand, thanking him for all of his work and cooperation. Mandy smiled brightly, looking exponentially better in the jeans, long-sleeved black button down shirt, and sandals she decided on wearing, as she got into the passenger seat of Jack's rental car. He slid behind the wheel and pulled the car out of the hospital, heading towards the city and the airport that lay within its limits.

Mandy's window was rolled down and the wind flooded the car as Jack hit sixty on the straight road into Boston, wanting to be early enough to clear security in time. He looked over at the woman next to him, the sun kissing her face and the wind throwing her hair around the car. She had a blissful smile on her face and her eyes were shut languidly as she sank into her seat and let all the tension of the past month run from her body. With her eyes still closed, she reached her hand out to turn on the radio, not caring what was playing, just wanted something to go with what she was feeling.

_Don't worry, hey, no need for you to hide among the trees_

_Come into the light and you'll be free_

_Don't scurry, hey, it's such a lonely life up in the hills._

_The valley's gonna cure your every ill_

_Don't worry, hey, I know that you are lost but you'll be found_

_God willing, we are California bound_

_God willing, we are California bound_

Mandy opened her eyes and looked at Jack, who looked back at her from behind his sunglasses. They both grinned at each other. _How fitting is this? _Jack asked himself, still grinning and shaking his head.

_This is so…good. To be leaving, to be heading off to something better, to have someone to help me for a change,_ Mandy thought to herself, smiling a smaller, secretive smile now at the man sitting next to her.

* * *

The plane landed after an uneventful flight early in the afternoon. Rather than choke down the airline food, they decided to eat after disembarking from their flight and grabbing their luggage. There was a restaurant just down the street from the airport, so they stopped in there after Jack picked up his car out of long term parking. Later on, they pulled up outside of Jack's apartment building and he carried her bags upstairs, her following behind him in confusion. He saw her expression and explained over his shoulder as he led her to his apartment. 

"Your release happened pretty fast, so until we're able to find more suitable living arrangements, you'll be staying with me. I've got a guest room that's basically filled with nothing that can't be moved someplace else," Jack led her into the lobby and up the stairs to the fourth floor. As they walked down to his apartment, Mandy stepped forward and brushed against his arm to get his attention.

"You could have stuck me in a hotel, you know…" her eyes focused on his facial expression as she chewed her bottom lip, waiting to see how he'd answer.

"You've spent too much time by yourself as it is. I wouldn't feel entirely comfortable putting you back in a situation where you're by yourself at the end of the day. And it's easier for me to keep on eye on you if you're in the next room," he explained, smirking at her look of mock indignation. He opened the door to his apartment and motioned her inside. After the short tour of his living space, he excused himself to change into something more comfortable than a suit and tie. He found her in his living room, looking over his music and books and movies, her hands clasped behind her back as if afraid of breaking something fragile. She turned and smiled at him when she heard him enter. He only half-smiled back, his mind preoccupied and slightly nervous.

"What?" Mandy picked up on his mood, her own smile fading as she focused on Jack.

"I've got to go in to CTU and check in. I talked with Bill Buchanan this morning about bringing you on and he wants to meet you. I…uh…I've gotta warn you: the staff has heard about you and some people remember you, not fondly of course, and by now I'm sure everyone who wasn't aware of you now knows everything I know, minus your personal history, of course. Only Bill and Chloe have had access to that and I trust them completely, so you don't have to worry…" he trailed off, noticing her stricken look. He rolled his eyes and smiled slightly, moving closer to her and placed his hand in hers to squeeze it reassuringly, the contact with her skin making his heart rate speed up.

"Hey, it's not going to be all that bad. I mean, people will get used to you. They've just got to meet you and let the person you are now overwrite any previous perceptions they have about you. It'll take some time, and some people…one in particular…will be resistant towards it, but you've just got to tough it out for the time being. You're capable of that. Both you and I are aware how strong you can be," his attempt to calm her down seemed to work. The lines of her face smoothed out and she attempted a smile to show him that she could handle this. _Be a big girl, Miranda_, she chastised herself, squeezing his hand in return.

_She's putting on a brave face,_ Jack noticed with an oddly strong desire to protect her, to act as her keeper, and he made the resolve to make this transition as easy as possible for his new, albeit temporary, roommate.

* * *

After fighting slightly to get Mandy out of the apartment and into the car (despite her insistence that she was tired from the flight and would make a better impression after she had rested the night), the two pulled into the CTU parking lot and Jack killed the engine. He made eye contact with Mandy, but said nothing. She looked back at him, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth, and nodded once, opening the door and exiting the car before she could change her mind. Jack did the same and the two walked across the parking lot. Jack walked with the relaxed indifference and confidence of someone who had made this very same walk, or a near perfect facsimile of it, every day for a long while. Mandy, however, was in foreign territory, walking stiffly and unsurely towards the building standing before her, a steel and glass structure seemingly aflame in the setting sun, iridescent light glaring off of its surface. She took a few steps closer to Jack until their arms brushed against each other as they walked. The contact with him made her feel…not exactly confident, but she could better cope with whatever was about to happen. She made a mental note to try and stick as close to him as physically possible. _Without looking fucking **attached **__to the man, _she amended to herself angrily. She wasn't sure where exactly her emotions were headed lately when they concerned Jack Bauer, but she pushed that to the back of her head, focusing completely on the task at hand. 

After making their way through security, they entered the main floor of CTU. Several heads turned to look at the woman Agent Bauer was so insistent about bringing onto the team. _Not too bad, _Jack thought, looking over at Mandy's nervous expression and then scanning the floor. Spotting Chloe, Jack wound his way through the work stations over to her. Chloe stood up and gave Jack a hug.

"Good to see you again, Jack. Hope the files and everything worked out fine for you," Chloe said after Jack released her. Jack smiled at her.

"Yeah, they worked out fine, Chloe. Thanks for getting them ready as quickly as you did, it definitely helped expedite the process," he took a step backwards, smirking, "And now I'd like you to meet someone…"

Mandy's eyes widened a bit in slight panic, but Jack stepped backwards until he was able to slide his arm around her shoulders and walk her forward to meet Chloe. The instant his arm was around her, her eyes drifted shut and she immediately calmed down. Opening her eyes, she stepped forward to clasp the outstretched hand of a small blonde woman smiling, albeit somewhat uncomfortably, at her.

"Chloe O'Brian, this is Miranda Stapleton. Mandy for short…" he watched the two clasp hands before continuing, "Mandy, this is Chloe. She generally looks angry and uncomfortable, but don't mind that, she has to put up with a lot of shit around here. She's our senior analyst."

"Nice to meet you," Mandy smiled nervously, being as polite as she could. Chloe also seemed nervous.

"I know you're a killer and everything. Well, at least you were…and I understand that you've changed and that Jack trusts you enough to bring you into CTU, so it doesn't matter to me what you've done," Chloe rambled. Jack rolled his eyes.

"She does this often. Seriously, it will probably happen again. On top of that, she's nervous when meeting new people, so forgive her," Jack smiled and glanced between the two of them. Chloe was glaring at him and Mandy was sheepishly smiling down at her shoes, occasionally peeking up at the two of them. After saying goodbye to Chloe, the two moved into Buchanan's office to discuss more official business.

* * *

"…so you'll be working directly under Jack, since this all was put into action because of his confidence in you. Frankly, your credentials are damn near exactly what we look for, and we…uh…already know how well you've operated in the past," Bill cleared his throat uncomfortably, "…and I think you're going to make a fine addition to our agency. Welcome to CTU, Miranda." Buchanan rose and shook Mandy's hand. Mandy, for the most part, couldn't stop smiling what felt to her to be a goofy sort of smile. After she and Jack had left his office, the smile still stayed on her face. Jack looked at her, one eyebrow raised. 

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, defensive but still smiling.

"Because you're grinning like an idiot, that's why," Jack grinned along with her until he heard quick footsteps coming steadily towards him and then, from behind, his name being called. He sighed, feeling a headache coming on.

"Jack! Jack, what the _hell_ is going on here?" Audrey stepped up into his face, very obviously pissed off.

"Audrey…" Jack started, only to be cut off.

"_What the hell is going on here?_ I receive a phone call informing me that Agent Jack Bauer is bringing a 'reformed terrorist mercenary' back to Los Angeles with him and I don't know what to think. What is this?" Audrey's voice had reached an impressive volume just shy of a full blown scream and Mandy, for the most part, averted eye contact with the woman standing before her, cringing at the words "reformed terrorist mercenary" knowing they could only be about her.

"Audrey, this started when the Boston FBI gave us a call telling us they had a person of interest appear on their radar. Miranda Stapleton, also know as Mandy. She's worked with a number of groups before, some terrorists, but mostly ambiguous entities. She was in a state mental institution when I got the call. Apparently, she suffered some…" Jack was cut off again.

"Jack, I'm not an idiot, I read the fucking files! I made Chloe give them to me as soon as I heard what you were up to. She is a _terrorist_, Jack. She attempted to kill President Palmer, she has killed who knows how many people, and she kidnapped your friend! Oh, but she's had a mental breakdown? Wow, Jack, so you've got not only a bitch on your hands, but a _crazy bitch_ as well! And you brought her to CTU. Terrific," Audrey threw her hands up in the air, her face flushed from yelling.

"First off, you don't have the whole goddamn story, so you should probably shut up right now, Audrey. There are extenuating circumstances that you might not be aware of. Secondly, Bill already signed off on her joining. It's done, it's over, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. And finally, what the hell are you screaming at me for? You're blowing this out of proportion," Jack's voice had raised to a tone no one at CTU liked hearing, let alone have it directed at them. Audrey's face slipped into impassivity.

"Where is she, Jack? I want to see what she looks like. I'm starting to get the impression that you have a thing for victimized girls, Jack. Where is she?" Audrey's voice was deceptively calm.

"Audrey, you're basing this on absolutely nothing and you're being completely irrational and I want to know, right now, what this is about?" Jack said, long since fed up with whatever she was trying to do.

"_Jack, where is she?" _Audrey asked, voice strained and hinting at a whole new round of yelling.

"I'm right here," a tiny, quiet voice spoke up. Mandy was making eye contact with Audrey, chewing her bottom lip, as her eyes projected to Jack the nervousness and tension she was feeling. Audrey's cold gaze moved over Mandy systematically. During her inspection, Mandy cast her eyes downward and kept them glued to the floor. Audrey was finally done and looked to Jack.

"Isn't she pretty, Jack? No wonder so many people…including her _father_…have fucked her. Have you fucked her yet, Jack?" Audrey's cold gaze held onto Jack, "Jesus, I don't want to know that. I thought we had something, Jack. I thought you agreed we could work things out."

Jack was dumbfounded by what she just said. Her voice was low enough so the rest of CTU didn't hear, but the one person that shouldn't have heard actually did. Mandy, no longer able to keep control of her emotions and remain as impassive as possible, had tears streaming down her face, her mouth pressed into a thin line. She sniffled and reached up with her right hand to wipe tears from her eyes and her sleeve slid back, revealing the long stitching on her forearm. Audrey's eyes widened.

"Oh, and she cuts herself. How 'teenage angst' of her," Audrey said, her voice illustrating her amusement. She shook her head in pity. Mandy had more than she could take and she excused herself in a shaky voice and quickly crossed the floor, disappearing into the CTU break room. Seeing how upset she was, Jack felt his anger welling up inside of him.

"Audrey, you can't begin to fathom what that woman has been through, and you can't begin to understand her situation, so I suggest that you shut your fucking mouth before I have you forcibly removed from this building. As for you and I, I said we had _issues_ to work out, but I made it perfectly clear that you and I were through, so that bullshit is irrelevant," Jack got right up in her face, pointing his finger a hair's breadth from her face to emphasize his point, "And whom I choose to fuck is no longer any of your business, not anymore, but no, I'm not having sex with her. There, you've made your scene and gotten the attention you craved. I suggest you leave right now."

Audrey was speechless. Plastered across her face was a mixture of total shock, outrage and indignation. She opened her mouth to protest and Jack called for security and told them to escort her out of the building. After she had left, he looked around for Mandy, remembering that she had left for the CTU break room only seconds ago. He rushed across the floor and entered the break room. As soon as he threw open the door, he stopped dead in his tracks.

Mandy was in the tiny kitchen area of the break room, face streaked with tears, mouth crumpled into a stream of uncontrollable sobs, sitting dejectedly on the floor in front of the sink. In her hands she clutched a small but sharp knife and she held it above the pale flesh of her left forearm with its pink, closing wounds starting to heal, threatening to create more. Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut, locked in a struggle with herself. _Shouldn't be here, shouldn't have come, shouldn't have come, shouldn't be here, shouldn't have…_she repeated in her mind, over and over again. When she finally noticed she wasn't alone in the room, she opened red, watery eyes and looked at Jack, managing to control her sobs long enough to form a coherent sentence.

"I shouldn't be here," her voice was broken and cracked, sounding wet and choked as tears continued to run down her face, dripping onto her black shirt. Jack slowly approached her, hands spread out in front of him.

"Whenever I was going through heroin withdrawal, I'd fight with myself: whether or not I should cave in and shoot up again, or to stick out the fight. To help myself, I thought of what was good in my life. Back then, I still had a daughter, some friends. Now, I don't know if that line of thinking would help me. Just…you're starting new, Miranda. Put the knife down. Please," his voice was low and calm, attempting to be as soothing as possible.

"I don't have anything like that, Jack," her eyes never left his.

"You've got me. I'm not much, but you've got me," he said without hesitation, a crooked grin spreading slowly across his face. She looked at him and seemed to calm. She stood up slowly and threw the knife into the sink, pushing her sleeves down to completely cover the entirety of her arms and hands before wrapping them tightly around Jack's neck. His arms encircled her waist and he embraced her as hard as she was embracing him, pulling her closer to him, eyes closed in relief that they had avoided her hurting herself. She buried her face in his neck, inhaling the scent of his aftershave. _I'm not alone…I can belong here with him, maybe…_she thought to herself. She pressed her lips against his neck and, exhaling a shaky breath, kissed him lightly.

"Thank you," she whispered quietly into his skin. The kiss and the brush of her lips against his skin sent electricity coursing down his spine. _Thank **you**…God, don't do that again, Mandy,_ his mind raced, slightly spinning from the intimate contact with her. He simply mumbled back a "you're welcome" and, after saying goodbye to Chloe (who all the while apologized profusely for allowing Audrey to threaten the files out of her), the two left for their shared apartment.

* * *

Hours later, in the darkness of night, in a room lit only by the silvery flickering light projected by the television screen, Jack and Mandy were together on the couch in the living room. Empty beer bottles and one severely overflowing ashtray littered the coffee table. After getting home, they had decided they both needed some serious downtime after the scene that had taken place at CTU. After calling Bill Buchanan (who witnessed the entire scene) and letting him know that they wouldn't be in tomorrow, as Jack wanted to give Mandy some time to adjust to her new surroundings and didn't want her to be alone for that, the two sat on the couch, watching old black and white movies and drinking beer and smoking cigarettes, and sometimes talking. Telling stories about their youth, their old friends from high school, their military experiences, and talking about relatives and loved ones in a dreamy, almost sedated tone, the two passed the hours together. 

It was now into the early morning hours and Mandy had just fallen asleep. Jack was slumped far down into the cushions of the couch and Mandy was curled up asleep, her head on his chest, left hand tucked under her chin and right arm thrown over his stomach, gripping him tightly. His hand rested on the exposed skin just above her hip, her shirt having slid down when she adjusted herself to get comfortable, tracing smooth, even circles on the soft, warm skin beneath his finger tips. Mandy made a satisfied sound and Jack could feel himself begin to fall asleep. Shaking his head to wake himself up, he tried to sit up, only to be stopped by the warm, female weight pressed against him, her hair cascading over her face and over his stomach.

"No…you're warm," she mumbled into his shirt. He chuckled, a low rumbling sound in her ears and she smiled sleepily into the fabric beneath her. He pried her arm off of him and stood, turning back to lift her up off the couch easily, her small frame seemingly weightless. She groaned and pressed her head into his collarbone, tightly wrapping her arms around his neck, fingers lightly playing with the nape of his neck as her carried her back to her bedroom and deposited her on the bed. He went to stand up, assuming she'd let him go, but her arms only released their grip on his neck a little bit.

"Stay here," she looked up at him through heavy, half-closed lids, smiling dreamily. He didn't respond verbally, instead smiling gently down at her and leaning down to press a chaste kiss against her forehead as her fingers again caressed his neck. They both knew he couldn't stay there tonight. He stood slowly and exited the room, wishing her a goodnight and promising to see her first thing in the morning.

After that, he lay in his own bed, drifting towards sleep, his mind focused only on her eyes, big and blue and constantly searching him, and the feeling of her fingertips, warm pressure on the back of his neck. He thought of her lips, earlier in the day, softly against the skin of his neck and the feeling of her hair, his fingers idly and drunkenly playing with it long before, when they were still awake and watching movies. _So soft…she's so soft…_

For the first time in a long while, Jack Bauer fell asleep with a smile on his face.

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_Note: I hate Audrey. I apologize for the language if it offended anyone, I just felt that it was necessary to convey the proper feelings. I also apologize for the lateness in updating. But here it is now! Please read and review! Thank you._


	5. We're In This Together Now

_Note: This took a while. Oopsies! Please read and review PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE._

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_The ground in the alley seemed to be alive. Thick strands of shadow undulated and slithered across the pavement, through the dirt, and up the walls, cutting through the grime and the filth._

_In the dark, she could hear cars, but very, very far away. Too far to help her, she knew, but she tried to call out anyway, tried to open her mouth and scream. She wanted to make known the presence of whatever was stalking her in the dark, but she couldn't. She opened her mouth and flies poured out, buzzing angrily before disappearing before her eyes. Horrified, she wrapped her arms around herself, sank to the warm, living concrete, and scuttled backwards until her bare back ground against the wall, bricks pressing into flesh and drawing blood. She was naked, and that's what was attracting the thing she couldn't see. She couldn't run._

_She couldn't do anything to stop it, could do nothing to delay it, could not halt the worst intrusion of all._

_They spread her naked, bruised legs open until it hurt. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, trying to distance herself. She felt insects crawling over her skin, felt them, the men, inside of her._

_Ripping, raping, leaving. Leaving her gutted and hollow, dead in an alley, her throat slit, blood on her lips like paint, a puddle of it surrounding her, staining her breasts, arms, legs, her entire body. Her eyes were open and some of the flies came back to land on her exposed corneas, drinking the moisture they found there._

_No amount of prayer could stop it._

Mandy awoke in the dark, her skin slick with sweat, hair matted to her forehead and down her back, clothing sticking to her, her own sweat the adhesive. She clutched the sheets in both of her fists, heart hammering in her chest as her eyes searched the darkness before her, disoriented, finding nothing familiar. She felt tears pricking her eyes and then run down her face and a half-choked sob followed soon after as she closed her eyes and struggled to erase the imagery, trying to blot out the past. Unsuccessful, an animalistic cry of anguish and tragedy resounded from her dry throat, tearing past her lips into the still air of the bedroom.

_This will never end_, she thought in the far-recessed part of her mind still capable of rational thought. She could feel herself slipping into a dark, dry place where she was incapable of thought, where all she could do was babble and stutter, no longer a person, just existing and frothing at the mouth.

Jack was startled awake by a loud sob coming from down the hall. His brain, still soaked in sleep, was confused and disoriented. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he waited in the stillness of the night and looked at the clock. The clock told him that it was only four hours since he carried Mandy to her room and collapsed, exhausted and still sort of drunk, in his own bed. Outside, the sky was still completely dark, with hours to go until the first rays of dawn would pierce the sky. In the darkness of his room, he waited. After a few minutes, he figured the sound he heard was a manifestation of his sleeping mind that unintentionally woke him up. He settled himself back down underneath the sheets and closed his eyes, feeling himself slipping back into slumber. Moments later, an anguished, piercing cry ripped through the stillness of the apartment and his eyes flew open in an instant. In another instant, he had pulled his Sig Sauer P229 pistol from the holster he had taped under his nightstand, cocked the hammer, and bolted from his room down the hall to Mandy's, where he could hear her cries coming from. He put his shoulder into the door and it crashed open, the doorknob sinking into to wall from the forces of his entry. His pistol was up, his eyes scanning the room, clearing it, before turning to Mandy.

She looked like absolute shit. Her skin was a sickly pale color and a sheen of sweat glistened on it. Her hair stuck in damp strings to her forehead and down her back. Her mascara from the previous day was running down her face, two dirty black tracks, like smears of coal, marking the path her tears took. When the door banged open, she had issued a sharp, loud shriek and fell immediately silent, curled up in her bed, shaking, with tears still running down her face, her arms folded protectively and tightly over her breasts. She whimpered quietly, her eyes squeezed tightly shut and her teeth chewing on her bottom lip so hard that she was starting to draw blood. He de-cocked the hammer of his pistol numbly and let it fall out of his hands to land with a soft _thump_ on the carpet. He was shocked and swallowed the painful lump in his throat before speaking.

"Mandy?" his questioning voice was just above a whisper. Her eyes opened and she blew out a shuddery breath, her relief plainly written on her face.

"Jack…" she managed to croak before her face crumpled and quiet sobs gently shook her body. Jack knelt beside the bed and snaked an arm under her back, lifting her into a sitting position. He sat next to her on the bed, his hand running up and down her back, fingers brushing soothingly against her through the sweat soaked fabric of her shirt. She sat with her head in her hands and cried as Jack continued to try and comfort her, still confused as to what happened and feeling increasingly awkward. He was just about to ask her what was wrong when she spoke up.

"I had a nightmare. I…I dreamt that I was back in the alley. In Boston, when they…you know," she said quietly after her tears and sobs subsided. She sniffled and wiped her nose. Jack's hand froze on her back, halting its awkward path as the severity of her explanation hit him. He thought about the dreams he had after Teri died. The situation was different, of course; her death, while emotionally scarring, wasn't physically harmful or traumatizing to him. He could only imagine what it felt like to relive being raped. _Will me touching her upset her even further? _Jack wondered. As if in reply, Mandy leaned toward him until her back was pressing against him and he turned to allow her back to rest on his chest while maneuvering his left leg onto the other side of her. She now sat with her back against his chest, arms wrapped tightly around her slightly shaking frame, between his legs. Her head was just below his chin and her hair was still damp with sweat. Hesitantly and not really knowing what else to do, what boundaries there were, he crossed his own arms over hers and held her, fingers resting on her cool, shivering skin. He rested his chin on her shoulder and she sighed softly, muscles relaxing as the tension partially left them. Jack didn't trust himself to speak, so he didn't; he just sat there, feeling her against him and listening to her breathing.

He wasn't deluding himself any longer, not with her this close: she stirred something within him, something that had lain dormant for longer than he cared to remember. She had awoken his senses and sharpened his perceptions and, though he hadn't known her long, he knew that the situation with her, how he felt around her, how she reacted around him, was worth pursuing. The only thing stopping him was his own uncertainty of her feelings, coupled of course with the fact that he was a bit out of practice with this sort of thing.

They sat there for a few moments, his arms around her until she pushed them gently away to wipe at her face. Mandy's eyes opened wearily now and she took in her current condition.

"I'm disgusting," she stated flatly, "I'm going to take a shower." And she started to walk away into the bathroom but Jack stood up quickly and grabbed her wrist, halting her. She turned back to look at him, chewing on her bottom lip. He could find no words suitable for the situation, so he looked at her, obviously lost, silently asking her what he could do. He gestured emptily with his free hand. She smiled a bit at his clueless appearance and his slight frustration with himself, manifesting in a furrowed brow and a frown creasing his mouth downwards. She slid her hand up into his and gripped it tightly, squeezing it and feeling its warmth leech into her own clammy skin.

"Can you make some tea or something?" her voice was quiet and steady. _Tea...tea…yeah, ok, I can do that,_ Jack thought to himself.

"Yeah, no problem," voice barely above a whisper, he smiled shyly at her and squeezed her hand back before letting her slender fingers slide from his grasp.

He moved immediately from the bedroom down the hall to the kitchen as the water in the shower started running. The doors of his cabinets opened and closed, with Bauer removing a kettle he didn't know he owned, two coffee mugs, and some tea bags. With water sloshing in the kettle like gasoline in a can, he set it on the stove and turned the burner on. He laid out the mugs, with tea bags waiting in them, on the kitchen table and then stood in front of the stove, eyes staring unfocused at the tea kettle. The water started boiling, whistling, just as he heard the water shut off. He turned off the burner and poured the steaming water into the two mugs and waited.

She padded into the kitchen barefoot minutes later, wet hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. She sat down and began to drink her tea, both hands wrapped tightly around the mug as if to draw the heat into her bones to work its way through her whole body, loosing muscle and soothing bone until everything else in the world just melted away. Jack sat across from her, drinking from his own mug, enjoying the vicious heat spreading down his throat and through his stomach like a contagion poisoning his system, shutting everything down with scalding warmth. She regarded him with a silent, measured gaze, watching his movements and taking in his posture, the subtle cues that his body subconsciously betrayed to her. _It'd be better with him…I know it'd be easier,_ she thought to herself, again chewing on her bottom lip, worrying it between her teeth and she thought on how to best speak next. He watched her, paying as close attention to her as she was to him. Finally, she just decided on the direct route.

"I know I asked earlier, but…stay with me. Please…I would just like someone there. I just want to be reassured that no matter what happens when I'm asleep, there's someone right next to me," voice steady and eyes leveled, she looked at him, her breath caught in her chest.

His own breath had halted in his chest as he considered what she was saying. As far as Jack could tell, she was comfortable with his physical presence in relation to hers and as for himself, well, Bauer definitely didn't flee every time their skin met, didn't draw back any time she reached out to him. But with his understanding of the feelings she awoke in him, he was concerned about the situation being awkward or uncomfortable, worried that he would be moved to try something that wasn't yet prudent. Ultimately, he decided that the benefit of sleeping in the same bed as Mandy, so close to her, far outweighed any drawbacks.

"Ok..." his mouth turned up into a smile, his eyes softening considerably, "I'll stay with you tonight." She seemed pleased with this, stifling a grin and nodding succinctly, clearly happy that she wouldn't be alone. Briefly, Jack wondered if he should maybe throw on another layer of clothing. He was in a pair of boxer shorts and a loose t-shirt, and thought that maybe that was too little.

He cleared away their now empty mugs and switched off the kitchen light, gesturing for Mandy to exit before him. As she passed, she reached for his outstretched hand and laced her fingers between his tightly, pulling him behind her, leading him back to her bedroom. _Tonight, _he supposed, _**our** bedroom_. When they reached the door, he pulled his hand from hers and continued to head towards his own room, set on putting on a pair of sweatpants or something, but her voice halted him.

"You said 'yes' and the bedroom is right here," she chastised, leaning out of the door to smirk at him. He took this to mean she was ok with his level of dress and followed her into the room. Jack crossed the room and slid the window open as far as it would go, a cool breeze blowing through the room as he slipped under the sheets, lying on his back. Out of sight, he heard the slide of fabric on skin and turned his head to see Mandy sliding one of his old t-shirts that she must have found in the drawers over her head. It hung like a short dress on her, stopping midway down her thighs. She turned off the lights in the room and made her way over to the bed. She paused and slipped her jeans off, now dressed only in his t-shirt and panties that were just covered up by the white cotton. It shocked him to see her so obviously comfortable with his presence and she slid in next to him. He stared at the ceiling, hands tucked under the pillow beneath his head, and focused on the mattress shifting underneath the slight weight of the woman next to him. For some reason, the simple presence of her warm body inches away from him sent a tingle down his spine and through his limbs and he had to suppress a huge grin that threatened to break out and cleave his head in two. Then he felt her move closer and lay her head on his arm and he stopped breathing.

Mandy slid closer and closer until she could rest her head on his arm and place her right hand on his chest. It was a small gesture, but one usually reserved for intimate situations, however Jack quickly got over that and found that it suited him just find. He unfurled his left arm from underneath the pillow and wrapped it protectively around her shoulders. She looked up at him from beneath heavy lids and he had to crane his neck to see her better.

"Goodnight, Mr. Bauer. Thanks for staying, I really appreciate this," softly spoken before she yawned. He smiled down at her.

"No problem, Miss Stapleton," and seemingly of its own volition his hand began to rub small, light circles and patterns on her back. She shifted so her head was up higher and more on his shoulder, her breath blowing warmly across his neck and her eye lashes tickling his cheek He slide his hand down further until it rested on the small of her back and resumed tracing invisible patterns there, rubbing slowly across her spine. She made a noise deep in her throat that said that she approved of what he was doing and that he shoulder stop. Her left hand traveled and snaked across his abdomen, pulling him tight against her and her body moved beneath the sheets so that it was pressed tightly against his side, not an inch between them.

_Why not_, she thought to herself, deciding to press her luck, before sliding her right leg up over his left one, to rest entwined like that. _Much better,_ and she turned her head to press a quick, chaste kiss on his cheek before mumbling another "thank you" and relaxing her body.

Jack's breath was let out in a heavy rush as also relaxed and his heart beat loudly in his chest.

He could almost hear the heart of the woman next to him, feel it's beat beneath her breasts.

He fell asleep to the sound of her breathing.


	6. The Fragile

_Note: Sorry this was so late. I've been currently trying to set my affairs in order for my last year of college, commencing at the end of August. Thanks for all the reviews! Thanks to Marni, who is reviewing and who I am unable to reply to because she's not going by a registered name. Marni, thank you for your continued support of my story. It is much appreciated, miss, as are all the reviews I receive. Oh, and the title of this chapter is keeping in line with the others (if you haven't figured out the connection between all the titles and the chapter content, Google will reveal it in about three seconds, or you could ask me if you'd like) is from something that I thought would be perfect for when they both wake up. Yeah, that's the sap in me.  
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Jack's face felt warm and bright light pried at his eyelids, trying to get inside. He squinted, his eyes shut, and buried his face further into his pillow, groaning. He was lying on his stomach, the sheet pulled up almost over his head, his hands and forearms buried under the pillow beneath his head. He kept his eyes clenched shut, warding off the light intruding into the bedroom, and turned his head away from the source. Working on feeling alone, he felt a constant source of warmth pressed up against his left side. There was also warmth on the small of his back, a slender line of heat snaking its way across his shirt. Warmth in his hand, beneath his pillow, pliant and warm and comforting, soft and smooth, added to all the other evidence to remind him of the events of the earlier morning, mere hours before.

_Shit…_

Slowly, he opened his eyes, squinting in the brightness of the room, his surroundings gradually coming into focus. When they did, he was looking at the sleeping face of his newly acquired roommate, unlined and peaceful.

She was very close to him. Although they had fallen asleep wrapped up in each other, they had pulled apart slightly in sleep, but not very far. She was on her left side, facing him, her right hand thrown over his back, fingers twisted up in his shirt. The t-shirt she was wearing had shifted along with her and had slid back, exposing her collarbone and her right shoulder, the pale, porcelain skin seemingly aflame with daylight. Her hair was a mess, thrown about onto both of their pillows, hiding her eyes, and her chest rose and fell gently. Mandy's left hand had slid under his pillow to tightly grasp his hand. He squeezed her fingers softly in his, and she tightened her grip in her sleep. The window was still open and he threw a glance over his shoulder to look out at the sky.

Gray clouds obscured the sun in shifts, cutting up its rays of light and splitting them into Morse code. The breeze had picked up, carrying with it an electric, ominous feeling. Skies like this hearkened rain, and Jack was thankful in the back of his mind that he wouldn't have to go into work today. He enjoyed thunderstorms, had since he was a kid, and rarely got the time to just experience the insistent force of nature. He turned back to Mandy and outside the wind picked up, curtains violently twisted on their rods. The brief clamor was enough to wake Mandy. Jack heard her steady breathing falter and then there was a sharp intake of breath as her eyes fluttered open quickly.

"Good morning," Jack said automatically. She disengaged her right hand of his shirt and rubbed sleep from her eyes. Beneath his head, her left hand squeezed his as she began to stretch in bed as he'd seen her do back in Boston.

"Morning…is it going to rain?" she asked, eyes half focused on the sky outside. Jack looked back over his shoulder to see if it was still the sky he saw earlier.

"Yeah, it looks that way," he answered in a tone obviously not unhappy with the weather.

"Oh," she said simply, and finished stretching before looking at him. "You like storms." It was a statement, and not a question, but Jack felt himself nodding against the pillow anyway. They looked at each other for a while, Jack lost in his own thoughts, frowning slightly. This wasn't lost on Mandy and she rubbed her thumb along his palm, pressing firmly to get his attention. Wordlessly, she coaxed him into speaking.

"This has been bothering me…and if I, uh, make you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to answer and you can forget what I said. Okay…alright, well, after what you've been through…you know, during your life with your dad and college and the men in Boston…I…um," Jack paused, grimacing at the subject matter before continuing, "I was wondering why you're comfortable with being physically close now…with me. You know, I can touch you, grab your hand, brush against your shoulder, whatever, and you don't get visibly upset. And, well, we slept together last night…close. I just…maybe it makes you uncomfortable and you just aren't saying so?"

"No, it doesn't make me uncomfortable," she was paying close attention to him now and he continued.

"Alright, well…I guess I'm asking why you're ok with being close to me. Most women who have been ra-…through what you have aren't usually comfortable with physical contact," he finished, forcing himself to watch her reaction, hoping to gauge whether or not she really _was_ uncomfortable with him. She was quiet chewing her bottom lip, in a gesture that was quickly becoming apparent to Bauer to be a sign of her being deep in thought. After a few moments during which he began to fear what her answer would be, she spoke.

"My father…the other men…you aren't them. You, to me, aren't someone dangerous. I know about you, Jack, I mean…from the past. You are right…you do the right thing, you save people. You saved me, got me out of Danvers. I don't see you as a threat, I don't see you as dangerous. After being alone for months and then being around doctors and orderlies almost constantly, you were the first real person I've talked to in a long time. I mean, the doctors were people, but…"

"I know what you mean," he said, urging her to continue.

"Okay, good. I don't know, I just feel like you were my first step back into the 'real' world and I'm grateful for that," she said, hoping he understood her.

"You don't need to do this…," he gestured between them, "…out of gratitude."

"No, no," she shook her head and spoke softly, "This isn't about gratitude. This is about you. And me, I guess."

"What about me and you?" he asked. He thought he had an idea what she was saying. In response, she only smiled slightly and shrugged.

"I don't know," her simple answer made his mind tick off the seemingly endless possibilities lying in that statement. "But I do know that you shouldn't worry about me being comfortable around you. I think _that_ answer is obvious." She loosened her left hand from his and ran her hand down his arm to rest on his elbow.

"But if any of this makes you uncomfortable…" she started, suddenly worried that _he _might be the one uncomfortable with all of the contact. _Don't push…_she chastised herself. It was his turn to answer silently and to do so, he moved a hand out to brush a few stray strands of hair from her eyes and smiled slightly. They stayed like that for a few moments, hands resting lightly on each other, before they wordlessly agreed it was time they both got up and started the day. With the only sound in the room the quiet whispering rustle of sheets, they slid out of bed.

* * *

She closed her eyes and moved her upturned face under the hot spray of water, liquid heat pouring down her face and neck, over her breasts, down the rest of her body. Her hands reached up to smooth through her soaked and tangled hair before she wrapped them around herself and leaned her head up against the wall of the shower, eyes closed and mouth open, breathing in the steam. 

Mandy was trying to sift through everything going through her head. Part of her knew where her feelings were headed regarding Jack. She wasn't stupid; she knew she was drawn to him. But another part…

_Too fast. Should I even feel this way?_

But another part of her realized the speed with which her feelings were expanding and questioned the sanity of that. She was concerned that what she was doing was somehow harmful to her, maybe even harmful to him.

And then there was the in-bed conversation this morning. She knew she was raped, there was really no way she _couldn't_, and she was dealing with that herself, internalizing her feelings about it, the emotions, the burning desire to take their lives. However unhealthy that might be, she _was not_ ignoring the situation. But she felt like maybe she _shouldn't_ be so…enamored with the physical presence he provided, shouldn't find so much comfort in his touch, shouldn't be calmed by his simply being there, shouldn't be stilled by his voice.

But she was. She briefly and sarcastically wondered if she was breaching some official Rape Victim Code of Conduct by allowing a man she barely knew to touch her intimately.

_I know next to **nothing** about this man…_she thought suddenly, her eyes opening under the spray of hot water. With that thought heavy in her mind, she cut the water to the shower and stepped out, drying and dressing herself, preparing for her first official, full-length day out of the hospital.

As she straightened her hair in the mirror, she thought about the revelation a few moments ago.

_I know nothing…_and she promised herself that that wouldn't last long. She left the bathroom and found him in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and finishing a cup of coffee. His hair was still damp from the shower he took before her and she had to consciously resist the urge to run her hand along his head, fingers slithering through wet hair. She poured herself a cup of coffee as he placed his cup in the sink. She leaned across from him, almost mimicking his posture, and peered over the cup at him.

"So what are we doing today?" she asked, looking away from him, suddenly shy when presented with how domestic that sounded, like they were much more intimate than they actually were. She hoped she wasn't blushing because she felt foolish enough.

"You need more things," he said simply. He noticed her look of confusion and decided to play it nonchalant to have a little fun at her expense. He smiled brightly, his expression telling her, falsely, that the plan was that simple, that that was all she needed to know.

"Things?" she asked, frowning and glaring at him playfully, playing along with his game. "What things?"

"People things. More clothing, whatever else you might need. Shampoo, make-up, towels. I've got some stuff, but I've been living by myself, so it's not much, and certainly won't suffice for two people. Oh, and the refrigerator here isn't filled with much, and what does have inside is stuff that I like. Same goes for the cabinets. So we can add that to our list of things to do. Also, I have to stop by CTU to pick something up. After that, there's nothing, which means we can do whatever," he finished his explanation with a shrug.

She thought about this for a second, chewing on her bottom lip, before dragging her eyes from the floor back to his to smile shyly at him before nodding.

* * *

"Favorite movie?" she asked as she walked beside him. They had been in the mall for close to two hours now and Mandy had asked him every question that came to mind, from the trivial (favorite food) to the immense (Teri's death). At first, Jack gave short answers, unaccustomed to such conversation. In reality, it had been a long time since his conversations were innocuous and _not_ geared towards terror groups, the locations of their training camps, their plans…the list could go on for hours. He wasn't used to friendly conversation, as sad as that sounded to him when he thought about it during a pause in their conversation. But as the minutes went on, he spoke more freely, elaborating his answers. 

"_The Way of the Gun_. I know that sounds pretty clichéd…but I've always liked Westerns. My dad used to watch them when I was a kid and I remember watching them with him. And _Way of the Gun_ is a modern western, so…yeah, it's cliché," he finished, shrugging his shoulders apologetically. From the bag slung over his shoulder and resting at his hips came an insistent buzz. He shifted the many shopping bags he was carrying and managed to free a hand which slipped into his bag to retrieve his cell phone.

Mandy watched him out of her peripheral vision as he talked quietly on the phone. With a few moments to herself, she thought about the conversation they had had on their way out of the apartment.

* * *

_"Ok, so wait a minute," she had said as he was pulling the door shut with one hand and slipping on his sunglasses with the other. He looked at her through the dark lenses._

_"Yeah?"_

_"Ok, so I need all this stuff and I haven't even started work at CTU yet, so…how exactly am I buying this?" she asked, confused._

_"You're not," Bauer had responded simply. Mandy raised her eyebrows and waited for an explanation. Jack just lead her to his car and got in the driver's seat. She stood outside the door with her arms crossed over her chest, waiting for an explanation. He rolled the window down._

_"I work. I get paid. I live pretty simply. I've managed to pile up a lot of overtime and as a result, I've got money in the bank. Don't argue, if you really want to, you can pay me back once you start getting paychecks. Alright?" his pause stretched to the point where he wasn't sure whether or not Mandy would agree with his plan or walk away, insulted. After a few more seconds, she looked at her feet and mumbled her thanks before getting into the passenger seat. They drove in silence for a few minutes before Jack couldn't remain quiet._

_"I know what you're doing. Don't," he said simply, not looking at her._

_"What do you mean?" she asked nervously._

_"You feel guilty accepting this from me. You feel like you're a charity case or you're accepting handouts. I'm helping a friend, so just leave it at that and push all this 'charity' and 'handout' bullshit from your mind," the entire time he was speaking, his eyes stayed focused on the road in front of him. When she didn't answer him, he turned to look at her and found her with her eyes fixed on him, a small smile playing on her lips._

_"Thank you," she says simply._

_"You smile too much," Jack wasn't sure how to respond to such sincerity so he decided to just brush it off as best he could._

_

* * *

_

Mandy heard him shut the cell phone next to her and retrained her focus on the present. When Jack made no move to reveal the reason for the phone call, other than a curt "It was CTU" she decided to revert back to the previous topic of discussion: him.

"Ok, so your favorite food is chicken curry, your favorite band is The Sex Pistols…not what I expected, by the way, you don't wear cologne, you prefer Sig Sauer, and your favorite movie is _Way of the Gun_," she paused, taking a breath before finishing, "Is there anything else I should know about you?"

"Um…I hate the beach," he said with some hesitation.

"You live in Los Angeles…" she began, but her cut her off.

"Yeah, and I don't go to the beach. I don't like it. The sand is too hot, it's too crowded. I don't know, I've just never liked it," he was unable to offer a clearer explanation than that.

"Well, go at night if you don't like the crowds and the heat," she replied in a tone that clearly suggested this should have been obvious to him before now. He didn't say anything in response, just walked beside her in silence until they reached the parking garage and found his car.

"Alright, one more stop at CTU and then we can do whatever," he broke the silence between them as he placed the last of their bags in the back. Mandy nodded, too caught up in her own thoughts to respond verbally.

_A beach at night, _she thought to herself, a plan slowly coalescing in her mind. She almost immediately ignored it in favor of turning her attention to the ride she was currently taking towards her new place of employment.

* * *

After playing with the radio dial and half-heartedly snooping through the glove compartment, Mandy sat tapping her fingers restlessly on the dashboard. 

Jack had been gone for no more than 15 minutes and she was already restless. She was, however, unwilling to give anything beyond precursory thought as to why his not being there agitated her. She looked around the parking lot at the other cars, and at the clouds in the sky, but every few seconds her eyes would return to briefly watch the front doors of CTU.

_You're not a teenager anymore, _and with that thought, she forced herself to keep her eyes trained on the inside of the car.

After a few moments, she checked the center console separating the driver and passenger seats and found a half crumpled pack of stale cigarettes. Undaunted, she used the car's cigarette lighter to light one and sunk further down in her seat, knees pressed against the dashboard and feet dangling, to blow smoke out the window and resign herself to watching the front door. What seemed like a lifetime later, Jack emerged from the building, a thin file tucked under his arm and his sunglasses obscuring his eyes. He strode quickly across the parking lot. The car shifted with his weight as he slid into the passenger seat. He removed his glasses and tossed the file onto the dashboard above the steering wheel before leaning back and closing his eyes.

He opened them and looked from the file to her. It was a quick flickering of his gaze, but he met her eyes and she could tell he had something he wanted to tell her. She patiently waited for him to gather his thoughts. He cleared his throat and reached for the file, opening it.

"Forgive me if I'm crossing a line here, but…I had Chloe do some research. Um…you told the doctors in Boston that you didn't think you had any surviving family, correct?" he asked cautiously, expression betraying nothing as confusion began to wash over Mandy.

"Yeah…I mean, I _don't_ think I have any surviving family, but it's hard for me to remember, exactly. Seems like a long, long time since…" she trailed off, wondering about when the last time she'd even seen a family member was. She looked to Jack expectantly.

"Well…Chloe found out that…well…" he wasn't sure why, but he reached over and slide his hand over hers. She threaded their fingers together and he continued, "Your grandparents are still alive."

Her throat seemed to close up and a very heavy feeling congealed inside her chest. She fought back tears, remembering her grandparents, how they raised her lovingly after her father..._their son_…had done what he did and left the world. Jack squeezed her hand harder.

"Can I…I mean, do you know if they still live where they were before?" her voice cracked. He smirked.

"I've got their full names, their address, which has remained the same for the past two decades, and their phone number. And if you need me to, I can get bank statements and credit history," he smiled, hoping his attempts at joking would cheer her up. She met his eyes and tears spilled down her face, but she laughed despite herself.

"I have family," she said softly.

"You have family," he confirmed.

"When can I-?" she began.

"Soon. We have to get you trained, which given your background probably won't take long at all, and then you can take a weekend or so and go on a trip," he explained to her.

"_We_ can go on a trip. I'm not going to go alone, Jack," she scolded, but she was clearly ecstatic over the news. He nodded his acquiescence.

"If you want me to go, I'll go. Although, if I keep disappearing for reasons related to you, people will start to wonder," he spoke suggestively. She laughed again and wiped her eyes and Jack released her hand. He pulled out of the parking lot and as an afterthought, he looked over at her.

"You have to wait to visit…but I do have that phone number."

* * *

_Boy, would I enjoy some reviews!_


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